


Welcome to Home

by Brighty18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - They Live, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-28 08:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12602840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brighty18/pseuds/Brighty18
Summary: R/S Games 2017 - Day 31 - Team ModYears after the Second War concluded, Remus and Sirius found their way to a very unusual and unexpected home





	Welcome to Home

**Author's Note:**

> **Team:** Mod  
>  **Title:** Welcome to Home  
>  **Rating:** PG  
>  **Warnings:** General silliness, vague reference to dogs eating chocolate, blatant theft of the ideas of others  
>  **Genres:** Humor, mild cross over  
>  **Word Count:** 2100  
>  **Summary:** Years after the Second War concluded, Remus and Sirius found their way to a very unusual and unexpected home  
>  **Notes:** Thanks to my betas and thanks to all this year’s participants in the final RS Games.  
>  **Prompt:** C - “...their relationship was a point of near-constant discussion in Night Vale, all of their imperfections and faults, which made them individuals worth loving. They had built those faults into the usual messy, comfortable, patched-up, beautiful structure that any functioning long-term relationship ended up being.” -  
>  excerpt from _Welcome to Night Vale: A Novel_ by Joseph Fink  & Jeffrey Cranor

“Well, Moony, congratulations, it appears that you’ve been elected Mayor!” Sirius cried, waving the scroll of thick parchment that had been recently deposited by Olivar, El Tecolote Oficial de la Democracia. Clearly incensed by the lack of obedience to protocol, the burrowing owl hooted disdainfully, hopping about the dusty ground until Sirius fished around in his pocket for the requisite owl treat. Finally satisfied, the bird huffily flew off toward the center of town. 

“How on earth could I have been elected Mayor?” asked Remus. “To my knowledge, I didn’t even run a campaign!” 

Sirius pushed a lock of mildly-greying hair from his face as he scanned the parchment. “Apparently, announcing one’s candidacy is not technically necessary according to the by-laws. Rather, one merely has have a vowel in one’s name, be nominated by a full-time resident, and be voted upon at a town election…”

“But I didn’t even know we _held_ a town election!” interrupted Remus, snatching the parchment from his husband’s hand.

“...and, of course, one;s election must be ratified by the Town Council,” continued Sirius calmly. 

Remus let out a heavy sigh. “And did you see what was written at the bottom?” he asked, holding out the parchment. 

“ _ **And You're Next, Sirius Black!**_ ” it read in large, ominous letters, as if the entire Town Council had somehow managed to violate the rules of time and space by simultaneously pressing quill to parchment at exactly the same moment. 

Sirius merely snorted. “Well, I suppose that’s what we get for having spent the past ten years living in this mad place.”

“You love it and you know it.”

Day crickets chirped in the small silence that followed.

“Yeah,” agreed Sirius, “You’re right, as usual.” 

And, indeed, as usual Remus _was_ correct. Sirius _did_ love living in Valle de la Noche. Sure, neither of them had ever considered living in America - much less a small, desert community in the American Southwest famous for being the smallest (and strangest) all-Wizarding town in the whole United States - but they’d grown to appreciate its oddities. 

After the War ended, both men had held high hopes they’d achieved more than their own survival and the salvation of the Wizarding world. They wanted change, deep-rooted and substantial, flooding the Wizengamot with justice and social equality. Unfortunately, though Wizarding Law eventually bent to acknowledge werewolves as full citizens, and though Sirius was granted a full and official pardon by the Ministry of Magic, the tide of their neighbors’ hearts did not follow. Sirius and Remus could not escape the vicious whispers, the dark suspicion lurking behind the eyes of strangers, and their pointed lack of social life. Other than Harry and assorted former Order members, nobody ever invited them round to tea. They were pariahs, unspoken but still isolated, trapped behind invisible walls labeled “werewolf” or “felon” or “faggot.” Tired of the subtle, grey hostility of Wizarding Britain, they’d travelled the world in search of adventure, mostly encountering places where their abundant financial resources outweighed any native qualms about their status or sexual proclivities. 

But even that grew boring, and one day, while sipping rum on an unnamed island off the coast of Brazil, Sirius was struck with an idea. “Hey, Moony,” he exclaimed, slamming down the Muggle novel he’d been reading, “Let’s go to America and travel that Route 66 thingie like the Joads or that Kerouac fellow!” Remus was about to point out that things had not turned out too well for Tom Joad and that the road in question petered out somewhere in the American desert, but he saw the look of pure happiness on his partner’s face and simply nodded. Not to mention the fact he was a sucker for any literary-based adventure. 

And so they’d traveled from Chicago, Illinois (which Sirius continued to pronounce “Ill In Noise,” much to Remus’ ire) to Santa Monica and back, visiting sites both Wizarding and Muggle: Cadillac graveyards and classic racing broom museums, kitschy cafes and the Painted Desert. Sirius loved every moment of it, and Remus loved every moment of Sirius’ happiness. Eventually, they’d come upon Valle de la Noche, a place Muggles believed to be a ghost town and American Wizards considered a dubious sort of tourist attraction. The decision to move there had been quick, things being pretty much settled when an old lady named Josephina invited them to a tea party where all the other guests were called Erika and where they were told all about another fine, young gay couple in town. One of whom, Josephina noted, was very much like Sirius in that he had astoundingly beautiful hair. 

They’d immediately purchased some land and had spent the next decade getting to know the local citizenry and learning the ways of Wizarding America. No one seemed to care that Remus was a werewolf or that Sirius had served time in prison. In fact, compared to everyone else in the town, the pair was pretty darned normal, if not a little on the dull side. Still, until the moment the owl arrived, neither had ever imagined holding elected office. 

“Well,” said Sirius, “I’m thirsty - and you’re probably quite famished, what with your new Mayoral duties and all. Let’s head inside and I’ll make us a snack.” 

Remus opened his mouth to reply that he’d not as yet performed a single Mayoral duty - much less actually accepted the position - but, as usual, saw the smile on his husband’s face and quickly snapped it shut. “Sure,” he muttered. “Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches sound fantastic.” 

“Merlin’s balls! How’d you know that that was what I was going to make,” asked Sirius with a mildly suppressed chuckle. 

“It’s what you _always_ make to celebrate an event.” 

“True, true,” replied Sirius. And the pair headed toward the house - if you could call it that. 

When they’d moved to town, they lived in a small Airstream Travel Trailer that Sirius had picked-up at a NoMaj event called a “swap meet.” Together, they’d magicked it to be a cozy little three-bedroom, two bathroom home, far bigger on the inside than out. But, unsurprisingly, Sirius had wanted more. 

On September 23th, 2000, to commemorate the 25th anniversary of their first kiss, Sirius bought Remus a library - and not just any library, an exact stone-for-stone, book-for-book copy of the Wren Library at Trinity College, complete with the well-hidden Wizarding section that few Muggles had ever discovered. Sure, the 17-Century Baroque structure looked rather strange attached to an Airstream, but as soon as the pair invited the citizens of Valle de la Noche to use the facility during carefully curated hours, no one seemed to think a thing of it. In fact, the good people of the town were so grateful to finally have to access to books in an environment free of the malevolent magical creatures known as “Librarians,” they immediately proclaimed September 23th to be “Remus and Sirius Day,” and sealed the Old Library (presumably entombing it’s demonic denizens) forever with a Charm. Remus, while initially taken aback by the extravagance of the gift, was soon happy to have a place and duty as the town’s First Librarian. Sirius was just happy Remus liked his present and, though he rarely admitted it, rather enjoyed being the Part Time Second Librarian. And the citizens were thrilled to have a compassionate-yet-nerdly werewolf - rather than a gaggle of dark-robed, long-taloned, multi-eyed creatures, with brown, hairy teeth - checking out their books and imposing fines. It was quite the win-win situation. 

Three years later, in honor of the decade that had passed since Sirius escaped Azkaban, Remus made Sirius a house. Knowing that, after years of darkness in multiple forms of prisons, Sirius craved light, Remus designed a home after the fashion of Mies van der Rohe. With the help of Martin’s Magical Construction LLC (who had not been employed for a number of years due to a rather unfortunate accident involving an ill-advised wood stain that turned all who touched it a vibrant, unsightly blue), Remus constructed a home made almost entirely of glass. At first Remus was unsure whether the Mid-Century Modern design might clash with the Wren Library and the Airstream, but Sirius was delighted and they‘d celebrated with fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. The residents of Valle de la Noche were equally delighted, for not only did the glass-walled home provide them with a fine view of glorious man-sex, but it often acted as a shining, square beacon for those returning from drunken, mysterious jaunts into the desert. As a result, many lives were saved. 

For Remus’ forty-sixth birthday, Sirius gave him a farm. It was the most impractical practical gift he could think of, and Remus _always_ requested practical gifts. Unfortunately, the twelve acres of orchards, pastures, and gardens, complete with a barn full of livestock and an enormous greenhouse, proved slightly overwhelming for the First Librarian, a fact made worse by the discovery that, apparently, British-based magical crops come to harvest three to five times per year under the blazing Southwest sun. Remus, who’s already greying hair and gently lined face had grown noticeably greyer and more lined in the seven years since they’d left Britain, began to look even older. Finally, at the suggestion of the Faceless Old Woman Who Sometimes Appeared in the Seldom Used Third Bedroom of the Airstream, they formed a partnership with the school system in which the students worked on the farm and sold their products at the Sunday Farmers Market at the Town Hall. The town, which up until that time had had only a single farmer, gained a much increased food supply, the children gained valuable agricultural skills as well as enough money for football uniforms and field trips, and Sirius learned the peculiar brand of patience that comes only from working with youth. 

On April 19th, 2008, same sex marriage became legal in Wizarding America. On April 20th, 2008, Sirius and Remus celebrated their nuptials in front of the entire town of Valle de la Noche. The ceremony was officiated by a local radio DJ (assisted by his boyfriend) and took place at the newly dedicated Padfoot Black Dog and Water Park, which Sirius had created to replace the town’s older, more forbidden dog park on the west side of town. Being that the 20th fell on the full moon and the event took place at a _dog_ park, at some point during the reception the newly-married couple transfigured the entire guest list into canines for the remainder of the festivities. And, despite a few near-poisonings from the not-too-well-thought-out chocolate fountain, the whole affair was generally considered to be a butt-sniffing, water sliding, moon howling extravaganza. For days after the ceremony, the air of the Black-Lupin compound smelled of wet dog and eleven weeks later, several litters of suspiciously furry infants were born at Hospital General de Valle de la Noche, but still the event was considered to be one of the most successful in the town’s history. And, in retrospect, it may have led to Remus’ mayoral election. 

“So,” began Sirius, carefully plating the golden-brown fried triangles of peanut-buttery goodness and setting them before Remus, “what shall we build next? In honor of your recent political achievement, I’m thinking, perhaps, a zoo… or, better yet, a park where the creatures run free.”

Remus shut his eyes and pictured erumpents, demiguises, and manticores running rampant on the grounds of what was already becoming a rather crowded and eclectic compound. And considering Sirius’ almost Hagrid-like penchant for strange and dangerous pets, there was a lot that could potentially go awry. It’s quite possible, he thought, that an Airstream attached to a 17-Century Library attached to a Mid-Century Modern home surrounded by acres upon acres of farmland and a Dog and Water Park was enough for the moment. 

“Or,” continued Sirius, as if reading his husband’s thoughts, “perhaps we should just give it a miss and leave things as is.” He smiled as he plunked himself down on Remus’ lap and whispered in his ear. “I think we’ve built everything we will ever need.” 

And, indeed, they had. Their property, like their lives, was a hodge-podge of conflicting styles and concepts, where small children sailed down water-filled chutes while clutching Yorkshire terriers and creaky old men perused dusty manuscripts with wrinkled fingers, where surly teenagers harvested peaches and lost souls searched for lights in the desert. It wasn’t perfect - and it was hardly expected - but it was theirs. And it was home.


End file.
